Where Do I Begin?

So much has been going on since my last post a million years ago…. I don’t really know where to begin so I’ll begin where we left off. The winds of change are still blowing and we still don’t know where they’re blowing us.  I’m really surprised at how calm I am about not knowing where we’ll be in life and in location less than a year from now.  I just have this feeling that everything will be okay and definitely better than it is right now. 

Dan put in his retirement paperwork a few weeks ago but they’re trying to talk him out of it. In the beginning he would have dropped the paperwork if they’d told him for sure that we could go to Ft. Hood, TX but they may have waited too long. “Penciling” us in just doesn’t cut it after five deployments and 20 years.

I do have sad news to share.  A part of my heart was taken on May 22nd. I got a call from my cousin that my Grandmother had suffered a heart attack and and it didn’t look good. We were on the road within an hour and made record time to NH. Though she never regained consciousness, her heart stopped two hours after we arrived in Wolfboro so I was able to hold her hand and tell her I love her and how very much I’d miss her. I had just called her the day before to let her know we’d be coming up the first weekend in June to help my uncle paint my grandfather’s workshop.  She was very upbeat and I’m so glad that I’d called her.  At least she didn’t have to suffer the Alzheimer’s.  She was in the early stages and it was already very frustrating for her. My grandfather is heartbroken. They loved each other since they were six years old. I’m grateful that Dan took the job at West Point so I could be so close to my family and spend some time with her. We had a private funeral for her on my little acre on top of the mountain. She had eight children, 25 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren and every single one of us felt her love and were devastated when she passed away.  I still can’t get my head around the fact that I can’t just pick up the phone and call her anymore.

I came into this world wearing layette sets that Gram knit for me.  She was buried in the Field of Flowers Shawl I knit for her a few years ago.  It made me feel good to know that she’d have that wrapped around her to keep her wrapped in the love I felt for her.  I miss her so much.

To end on a good note, I have news about Lucky.  He may get his hearing back!  While visiting Kim of Woolen Rabbit a couple of months ago, she mentioned PSOM might be the cause of his deafness (he’s not completely deaf, he can hear very loud sounds and Aggie barking).  When I got home and googled it, I was amazed to find out that the vet at OSU doing a study on PSOM was the very vet that did Lucky’s BAER hearing test when he was in foster care last year!  I emailed her and after doing several other Cavaliers, she thinks this might be Lucky’s problem after all.  Her initial reaction last year (just a couple of weeks into the study) was that it was nerve damage.  Daniel, Lucky and I will hit the road next week to Ohio.  Keep your fingers crossed that his surgery is successful!

18 thoughts on “Where Do I Begin?

  1. Chery says:

    So good to hear from you. I know you miss your Grandmother. That’s a beautiful picture.
    Hope Lucky’s surgery goes well.

  2. Annie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. You’ve shared a beautiful tribute and a lovely portrait of her.
    Best of luck with Lucky! 🙂

  3. Tamara says:

    Hello Jean. I was just thinking about you last week. Good to see an update from you. I’m very sorry about your grandmother’s passing. I hope everything will settle down and work out and have happy endings, for each of you, and for Lucky too. Did you get to visit TX earlier this month? We are taking our oldest daughter to visit A&M on Friday this week. 🙂

  4. Becca says:

    So sorry about your Grandmother. That’s a wonderful photo of her and beautiful memories you have.
    I hope the Army picks a wind direction for you soon! We’re in TX (for the Sgt Maj Academy) now ourselves and do you know what is worse than living with a guy who is waiting for the E9 list to be published? Living in an entire neighborhood of guys waiting for it!
    Best wishes to Lucky on his surgery!

  5. Wool Winder says:

    You seem to be very calm indeed. I know things will work out for your family.
    What a lovely picture of your grandmother. I’m glad you were close enough to be with her at the end of her life.
    You didn’t name him Lucky for nothing. Wishing for the best.

  6. La says:

    What a wonderful picture of your grandmother, and such a touching tribute. I’m so sorry that she is gone from this earth, but she’ll always live on in your hearts and memories.
    That’s some uplifting news about Lucky! I hope all goes well with his surgery!

  7. monica says:

    I’m sorry about your Grandmother. She sounds like she was a lovely woman. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for Lucky’s surgery.

  8. Thimbleanna says:

    What a beautiful picture of your grandmother. I’m so sorry to hear of her passing. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I hope Lucky is true to his name and has a successful surgery!

  9. Amy says:

    My condolences to you and your family. Your grandma is beautiful. Keeping you in thought and prayer…

  10. Kim says:

    What a beautiful picture of your Grandma and such beautiful words. I know how deeply you love your grandparents and how relieved you are that she will not suffer the ravages of Alzheimers. Sometimes there is kindness in death, even when our hearts are breaking.
    Look at those ears on Lucky….beautiful! My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Lucky as you travel to Ohio. Let me know how he makes out…we are all rooting for him here.

  11. Kat says:

    Good to hear from you. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother, but from what your wrote she lived a rich life.
    Java will keep her paws crossed for Lucky.

  12. Marta says:

    Oh, Jean, I am so sorry about your Granny. What a beautiful picture and tribute to her! My prayers for her and you and the rest of the family.
    Good luck too with Lucky. He’s so beautiful
    Marta

  13. Jennifer says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. My grandma died at age 97 just a couple months ago and I know how sad you feel. I can’t think of too many things that are more heartbreaking than the loss of spouse after such a long marriage. I think for me it is because if you are lucky enough to have a long marriage, we know that we too will have that loss. Your poor grandpa will need lots of love. The good memories you have will be such a comfort.

  14. bri says:

    I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. Even though you miss her, she’s still with you and in your every day.

  15. sandy says:

    SO glad to hear from you, Jean! Missed you!
    I am saddened at the news of your beloved Grandmother. Such a beautiful woman! I can see the fire in her eyes!
    Fingers crossed for Lucky! (And Dan!)
    hugs for you!
    xoxo

  16. PJ says:

    I took a break from reading my blogs, but I certainly want to say I’m sorry for your and your family loss..I know she will be missed. Nice blog tribute to her.

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